It has been a LONG time since I have felt inspired to write anything – I will reflect on the past few years later. But for now, I will share this. The writing in blue is what my dear friend Pattie wrote to me in an email this week as we were talking about people we know who have cancer.
Yes, STUPID cancer is just that, STUPID and you know it all to well 
I know the pain of losing Alexander never ends and at times likely even gets worse, but I am so grateful in so many ways that you have used your pain to help others. You have taught me so much too from your cancer journey and I have used the lessons learned often and share them with others. In fact just the other day. I know of people who have lost loved ones or are in the midst of battling and others “ignore” them because they don’t know what to say or do. Because of you, I DO know what to do…..be there, Whether I have words or not and I encourage others to do the same as I tell them about you.
Alexander lives on in so many ways and still makes me smile when I see his little face on your page. And you know what…..i just realized I thought of and brought you up just today! I was at the post office and the clerk had a picture of Joey Middlemiss at her station. I asked what was attached to his picture. She said bubbles. I laughed and said, yep, bubbles make everyone happy…..and told her about you and your blowing bubbles at stop lights LOL Bubbles for Alexander always bring a smile faces 
My reply:
Love this!! While I HATE that I am able to “get it” with people, I am glad I am able to reach out to those who need it. Last weekend we were at the Buddy Walk (DS fundraiser) a large group had shirts on that said “In memory of Sebastian”. I went over and asked who Sebastian was. One woman said – he is my son who died this year. I told her about Alexander – and let her know I was there if she needed to talk! When we connected on FB, I noticed that I had written to her back when her son had died but she never saw the message. ❤
When Alexander was sick, I followed a bunch of other kids. When they all died I said “I won’t follow any more!” Well, of course that didn’t happen! They FIND me some how! I now have a virtual friend in North Carolina whose son had NB. I think I put him on the prayer list a few times – his name is Thomas. He is doing well now (but has a TON of side effects from treatments and such) She has messaged me several times, when things are tough and her friends just don’t understand!
She started posting about another family in Colorado -well, they actually LIVE in Wyoming but have to go to Colorado for treatment! Her daughter also has NB (and I just now looked and her scans were CLEAR today!!!) I have chatted with that mom a couple of times too.
It was so scary and lonely when Alexander was diagnosed. When we first got there there was a little girl – I think 4/5, and a teenage. The parents of the little girl did say hello to us, but we didn’t talk much. The teenagers mom didn’t speak English, so we didn’t talk with her. We later found out that the cousin of one of my cousins wife, lost her daughter to NB. She said she had thought about reaching out, but wasn’t sure since her daughter had died. Oh how I wished she had!!! Even though it was not a good outcome, I would have loved to have someone to share with! I did make friends with other moms. And whenever a new kid was on the floor, I made sure I introduced myself to the parents. I remembered how lonely I was, and I didn’t want anyone to ever feel that way! Because we were ALWAYS there, I got to meet so many people. I say I have the best friends that I wish I never had, but I am so glad I did!
I am in the club no one wants to be in, and we can’t ever get out of! I have heard of the “6th stage” of grief – finding meaning. This is my way – I can’t change our lives, but I can help others now!
thecookiegal 
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